Shashikala- An inspiring life

In the month of July, somewhere in 1920`s in the tiny bylanes of Agra, behind the Taj Mahal in an area called Namak Mandi a girl was born to Brijbhushan Das & Revaben. It was an old house owned by the Ghanshyam Das, a well known judge during the British times. It was a huge house with a small backyard, considering the numerous births in the household, there was a separate room built for delivery of children, and a dedicated mid-wife to the family.Hospital delivery were unheard of in that era

The parents were probably delighted to see the birth of beautiful daughter, after all till now they had just had sons, and having a daughter was a welcome delight. She was white as snow white, and nothing less than a princess from a fairy tale. She was named as Shashikala, but her naughty brothers named her Chhocho, pronounced as Chho chho as they couldn’t pronounce the word Shashikala too well. In the intial years of her childhood, mother took special care of the daughters, feeding them, ignoring the brothers.

In the early years, as she along with her sisters laughed and fought with the brothers after being the victim of the numerous pranks like tying their braids together, silently putting a handful of leftover seeds in their mouth, Somewhere in the native place of her Mother, Reva ben`s, native town, Kapadwanj in Gujarat her marriage was fixed by a aunt in a house to a man, whom, not only she but even her parents had never meet. They were just a known family to her parents who had a son aged 20 years, so they decided to fix the wedding with this girl then probably aged 10.

It was probably just another holiday to Kapadwanj, when Shashikala got married in the ancestral home in Kapadwanj., She was 15 years old and she had no idea what marriage was, she was just too happy to wear the new clothes and have a feast.

When she saw her husband and his family for the first time, she wondered what was wrong, what was she doing with a family who was completely dark skinned. She was white as a snow- white and her husband black as coal and ugly looking. She felt like a celebrity for the first couple of years. She looked like a white doll and people from neighboring households came to watch her beauty. They all joked in Gujarati “ Kagro, Daithro layegayo” which basically means the crow took the diamond.

Settling in Kapadwanj, was not to easy for Shashikla, having brought up in Agra and Haldwani, they had always spoken in Hindi, she didn’t know to read or write Gujrati, the common language in the town. The only comforting factor was a good mother in law. Just as we learn to live with our circumstances, Shashikala accepted her new life and moved on. She had two sons and just when life seemed to be going smooth her husband died.

She was 25 years old when her husband died. She was determined that she was not going to live a life of pitiful widow who is rushed from one house to other to do errands. She wanted to take care of her children and give them a good future. With a supportive mother in law, Shashikala enrolled herself to read and write Gujarati. She took help from Prof, who taught her. As usual people did make stories about her and Prof, but she never let any such rumors come her way to become a teacher. She appeared for the exam and after passing that exam, she went to Teachers college almost 4 hours away from Kapadwanj. For 2 years she selflessly lived at the hostel and studied to become a teacher.

When she came back she, got herself a job at a local school and taught upto 4th grade for over 30 years, got her two sons educated and today at the age of almost 78 , she still fends for herself getting a pension every month

Shasikala is someone who has inspired me so much. A women who never had a choice to paint her future, But when did get the brush in her hand, she was determined to turn her life brighter. She took her plight as a challenge and beautifully wiped away her worries. There must have been a million aspirations and dreams of her own which she must have cremated in her heart, all for her children`s future.

Today, Shasikala is almost 79 years old, She shuttles between her grandchildren houses and hers from Kapadwanj and Bharuch, playing with her great- grand children. Her health is not in the best of conditions, but she is happy and she has no desire. She is proud of being financially independent. She gets a pension of over 4,000 rupees a month which is even more than the salary she ever earned, and is more than sufficient to take care of her expenses. She thinks that god actually gave her a new life, when her husband died. The path was challenging but the end was very rewarding.

Most importantly Shashikala is my grand aunt, my grandfather’s sister. I, now, know where I and many of my cousins and aunts get our nature and abilities, it runs in the family.