A Ganpati festival that I dream of...

Vignahartha and destroyer of all obstacles, Lord Ganesha is worshiped by one and all. No new task begins without his blessings. Perhaps it was this unifying power of Lord Ganesh which made Bal Gangadhar Tilak, think about creating this household Ganpati festival into a community festival.

It was in 1893 that Tilak organized Ganesh utsav as a religious and social function and introduced the tradition of worshiping huge deities of Lord Ganesha in the community pandals and then immersing them on the tenth day.At the time when social and public gatherings were banned by the British this festival served like a common point for people of all castes and communities to come together. 

I grew up in Bandra, a cosmopolitan suburb of Bombay. My earliest memory of Ganpati was driving down toThane another distant suburb to my grand aunt (grandmothers sister) maharashtrian household who hosted the Ganpati festival at their house every year. It used to be like a nice picnic, a long ride, worshiping the god and then sitting down in a pangat to be served a nice maharshtrian lunch with masala bhat. We just had one or two family friends in the Bandra neighbourhood who would have Ganpati at their house.  On a few occasions, I would visit the big Ganpati pandal opposite Bandra talao. The pandal would have nice exhibits with houses and fields or a social message recording. In spite of not have much exposure to this festival, it was in high school, that I too was somehow fascinated by the idea of bringing Lord Ganesha home. My parents obliged, by suggesting that I could create my own little festival at home with our metal Ganpati idol and creating a mini exhibit by using the little box I made in my art class and a few decorations all nicely put up on top of a little wooden stool (choki). When it was time for immersion, I could do that home in a small tub and not contribute to polluting the sea. That is exactly what I did. Immersed the idol in the tub, nicely cleaned it and put it back in the showcase.

It was only in the year 2000 when we moved to the distant suburb of Kandivali is where I discovered the grandness of this festival. Every single society in the neighborhood had a ganpati pandal. The normally dark lane that I walked down each morning to get to the bus stop would be completely lit up with sparkling lights throughout those 10 days. Those 10 days truly felt festive, something I had never experienced before. The first year that we moved to our new building my father decided to volunteer to do the decoration for the Ganpati pandal with the help of young boys and girls who also volunteered to help out. This is where I met other people from my building and become friends with a few. Some of them continue to be my friends even after moving cities and countries. Another interesting concept was getting invited by random people in the building to come and visit their house for Ganpati. Some people were so enthusiastic they would put up invites on the notice board of each wing in the building, inviting people to come for the darshan. This was not it, if you went to their house for darshan you would be offered snacks or cold drinks. No shyness was allowed, it was not considered good if you didn’t eat or drink something at every visit. Ganesh Chathurthi truly did serve the purpose of uniting us with the people in our new building complex.

Well I am all for Ganesh Chathurthi and the spirit of togetherness that it creates, but there are some things about this festival that make me unhappy. The huge loud procession of bidding farewell to Lord Ganesha, contributing to the noise pollution, followed by the tons of waste that is created in sea and river due to the immersion perhaps killing even more marine life. I am sure Lord Ganesha would never approve of this.

In the last 124 years the festival has grown in leaps and bounds, from a small community gathering it has turned into organized event activities. But today I dream of a different Ganpati festival.

I dream of a Ganpati festival, where idols are never immersed, they are re-used perhaps metal idols are used. Alternatively, we have digital Ganpati idols, imagine walking in to a pandal with 3 D glasses and  the pandal décor to is created with 3 D effects. So much less waste. All money that  is contributed by devotees who visit the pandal can be authenticated through Aadhaar number and paid towards a specified charity. Strict fines imposed on pandals who violate the noise decibel. Non devotional music should not be allowed at any of the pandals. Pandals also need to be given a certain identification card through which all the money that is collected as donations or otherwise is accounted for.

I salute the spirit of this festival and what it does to unite us all together, but I want this spirit to also respect our  natural resources and mother earth.

Ganpati Bapa Morya!

Lessons from my Life Coach : Daddy`s girl.

I watched the movie Dangal and was truly moved by the story of this father who trains his daughters against all odds to become a wrestling champion.  As I watched that movie it somewhat ran a flash back into my life and the way that my Dad had trained me to conquer world even

 

Be Fearless

It all started with my name, he named me Dhruti, which itself meant the fearless, courageous and determined. When I was about 3 years old and we lived for a short time in Haldwani, that’s where I was unconsciously taught to be fearless of animals, bugs and surprisingly even snakes. My dad`s favourite recollection of that time is of me telling everyone that I could kill the snake. Growing up too I was taught to speak my mind. I don't recollect being frightened to say anything to anyone including my teachers, if I was right. Of course I did have night mares like maths which I hate

 

 Believe in your self

 

My Dad was determined to make me believe in my self and perhaps make goals. He insisted I spend my 10^th standard summer holidays with my uncle and aunt in  USA. He was keen that I see the world and see for myself the place I should go and study in.  He wanted me to be fearless and independent and learn do things on my own. Unfortunately at age 15, I don’t think I had any resolve of doing anything or thinking or imagining my future the way my dad did.  In that American summer holiday, I was just happy going for day visits to schools, colleges with my cousins, uncle and aunts friends who were professors or their children who were in higher school. My uncle tried to get me to the internet, it was a dial-up and this is where I tried to spend the whole day searching for things that I didn’t need. It was just another way of passing time.  The rest of the time I enjoyed chittar –chattar between the grandparents and going to Kroger and watching television. Of course at that time I never realized, how lucky I was to get this kind of exposure to the world.

 When I returned from that holiday, it was time to start college.  I took up Arts, because that is what I was interested in. The first day that I went to college, I was truly heartbroken as I did not even have a single friend in college. I remember coming home and crying. From being a popular person in school, I was just roll no 47 in Mithibhai College. That’s when my Dad said, “My daughter is not someone who has tears like this. It took you at least 10-12 years to be a super star in school, you need to figure out what you have to do to turn around this situation. I am confident you can do  it “ .

 

The first few weeks in college were not easy, but I did speak to one girl who seemed quiet and she too didn’t have any friends.  That was a starting point. Then I got involved in every activity I could, whether it was Rotaract, NSS, Mounteering club. I attended national youth conferences.  I was ok in studies, counted among the students who never bunked class. And in a few months life was on a roll. I had new friends to pester and new experiences to share.  Then when I completed my junior college, I was awarded Best Student of the year. I don’t think it struck me then, but now when I look back, I realize, it was my dad who pushed me and indirectly told me that if  wanted I  could turn around my circumstances and win over any situation.

 

After that I was this unstoppable girl, as a part of Rotaract I travelled to different parts of  Bombay and outskirts often alone, often late at night and I never feared anything. In fact my resolve to challenge the wrong was so much that I even tried to raise a conflict with a head of an organization in an open forum, as I thought he was wasting our money. I was also fortunate to work with a PR consultant and got an opportunity to work with brands like AND.  I worked with her after college hours and infect one summer I managed the office and clients when she was not around.  I often cribbed about not being able to go watch movies and have fun like my friends did after college. My dad just said one thing, watching movies will not get you anywhere, but what you are doing might be tough for you now, but you don’t even know how it will help you in the future. At that time I took it a sermon, but he was so right.

 

Accept your failures and learn from them

I remember when I was  in college and my Dad was going through a tough time with his work. He had an ambitious agro nature project and unfortunately he made a few wrong decisions, trusting people, going by what he thought would work, not doing proper paper work and things then didn’t work out in his favour. That must have really saddened him, but in spite of that I still recollect him telling mom and me “Success has many fathers, but failure has none, had everything gone right and project was successful, everyone would have been full of praises. I couldn’t believe that my hero dad could go wrong. It was unbelievable how he confessed about the wrong decisions he had taken. I was in tears when he completed his story. So courageously he told me “ I am not sharing this with you to make you feel sad, but I want you to learn from my mistakes don’t commit such mistakes yourself. Some lessons of life that we learn are expensive ‘’

Don’t give up.. Keep Re-inventing

My dad may have taken a few months to come out of his project failure set back. His health wasn’t doing the best. But he didn’t give up. He restarted at 43. He set up a catering business, which of course was not easy, he had set backs in that too but slowly and steadily he tried to grow the business and he did decently well with it. In fact when it came to developing marketable unique food items, he would relentlessly experiment until he was able to make the food item to perfection. In a time when google was not available this was not an easy task.

Well my dad is someone who has dawned many hats in his life time, starting from being a tour guide,  entrepreneur selling artifacts, to jeans to being a fashion designer, to taking up a crazy dress export order to a clothing store and then trying to set up a jam factory in Haldwani, to being a agriculture land broker.

 

 Although it was my dads dream, that he wanted my mom to run the catering business he has set up, as he thought it had a lot of potential. Unfortunately my mom was not interested. I made some meagre attempts trying to get my mom an order to run school canteens by giving a marketing proposal at the schools and colleges. But since nothing really worked out, there was no way I could convince my mom to continue the catering business, as she didn’t want to deal with the cooks and workers.

 Although she didn’t run the catering business, she continued do a do a bit of trading by supplying food items to a corporate canteen for almost 10 years and she smartly introduced new food items to her supply. But because she started working, she slowly steadily turned out to be the confident and smart lady that my dad always wanted her to be.

 

Fight your own battle

When things seems to be going well, my Dad`s health started to deteriorate. He had a tough 5 years with his work and everything.  Then he had a stroke and had to be admitted in an emergency to the hospital. He was quite serious and our doctor told me, he was not likely to survive. However in spite of all the pain he was in in that ICU bed, it didn’t stop him from telling me, that he did not want me and my mom to lead  our lives with  sympathy or misery.  He said I have taught you what I could and I am confident that you will be able to face the world and conquer your goals and ensure that your mother leads a happy independent life.  Don’t expect anything from any one. This is your battle.

 

Spread happiness and always be positive.

Anyone who knew my Dad, would vouch for the fact he loved to spread joy and happiness, whether it was through his words or his gesture.

I recollect a time when I was about 10 to 12 years old and I was pestering my dad to buy firecrackers for Diwali. I  still remember what he told me. He said that instead of spending your money on fire crackers, why don’t we go and buy sweets and gifts for children in the village in Maharashtra that he was working in. The fire cracker will make sound create  pollution and barely make you happy for a second but imagine the happiness you will give those kids. That memory is still live in my head, the way the children ran to the school to get their Diwali gifts was amazing and the happiness on their face was price less. From that day onwards I have never lit a firecracker.

 

A few days before he passed away, he was in the ICU, perhaps in a lot of pain with tons of wires tucked on his body and countless injections been given by nurses, who he had jokingly named as Dracullas. In that situation too, he was determined to thank the nursing staff, that he made me get card paper and drew out a card wishing the staff a merry xmas. Even in a critical situation in the ICU, he was positive and believed that it was perhaps time for him to go and whatever god had decided was for the best. There was no need to have regrets.

 It has been more than 15 years that he left us, but he continues to be alive through the things that he taught us.