From Kambhat to Agra & Beyond– The story of our roots from Dadaji

Throughout my life whenever I introduced myself, I was immediately labelled as someone being from Gujarat, and I have had countless conversations explaining people  about my northern connection and me hailing  from the one of most beautiful northern parts of India i.e. Haldwani Nainital. 

I have never really known about the actual story, till my Grandpa called me one evening few months ago and told me he wanted to write about  our roots, and the journey of our family from Kambhat to Agra. He would have ideally liked to do it himself, but his slow typing speed after his hand injury  did not encourage him. So I told him Dada, don’t worry the next time I come to Bangalore, I will definitely write it down.

Battling through   the limited time and a noisy  construction surrounding, Dadaji lovingly narrated the journey of our roots. Here it is in his words. Dada is the only surviving sibling amongst all his brothers & sisters,  so this is indeed a treasure for all of us

 From Kambhat to Agra

( as narrated by Dadaji)

In around 1500 my ancestors moved from Kambhat and settled at  Agra. Akbar when visited Gujrat had selected persons knowing Persian and Arabic for interpretation of laws  in the Mughal courts. My ancestors knew Persian and Arabic and thus  they were selected as courtesans in Akbar`s court. They travelled with the family on horses and bullock courts, palkhis escorted by the Mughal soldiers. They arrived in Agra and the family set up their house  in a an area called Namak Mandi which was close  to the Agra fort and with a view of the Taj from the terrace.  

For a family which grew up in a Gujarati surrounding this was like a different country, with mosques surrounding all over  the house.  However the area where the family was lived housed many wealthy Hindu business man and traders. The family members who attended the court had a special horse escort every day to take them to the court and bring them back.

Food

Living in Agra, the family  created a culture of its own absorbing the local  customs, food from the locals. It is because of this that our family has just such distinct food, very different from the sugary cooking of original gujratis. Sweets are loved by one and all in the family but only as dessert  and not as part of the food.  From pethas, to  jalebi & rabidi, to bal mithai, rasgolas , ras malai  and our Agra special Bedaiya puri  and alloo jhool sabji  are  on the hit list.

Kapadwanj connection

In 1820  or earlier due to the floods in Gujrat people could not reach Kambhat, so they had to consider brides and bridegrooms from a village known as Kapadwanj. It was a tough time to fulfil the mission called Marraige, as lot of opposition went around, as the rumour had it that this men from Agra who were of fair complexion and handsome, were so because they used to  eat meat and fish, and thats why they were looked as a different race from that of the typical gujratis. However inspite of great opposition, Ghanshamdas( my grand father ) got a bride from Kapadwanj, called Ichaben, he paved the path for many such marriages of the Das families in Agra and various families in Kapadwanj.  Ichahaben died immediately after she gave birth to her younger son, my father( Brijbhushandas). Ghanshamdas and  his brother Madhuvan both remarried in Kathiawad. It is rumoured in those days, families instead of paying dowry to get daughters married used to actually take money in return for giving their daughters for remarriage. Both of them remarried in Kathiawad, Madhuvandas got married to Maniben and Ghanshamdas got married to Radhabai.. Madhuvandas practiced law  whose practice was later inherited by my father Brijbhushand Das.

Madhuvandas ( my grandfather’s brother) &  the Gandhi connection

Madhuvandas ( my grand father`s brother) has 2 sons, one was Jattu Kaka, and the other was Haru Kaka  and daughter was Putli who was a child widow.  Jattu Kaka  joined the freedom movement from his college and become a freedom Fighter, His brother Haru Kaka also joined in the same because of  Mani ben their mother who introduced the Gandhi movement in  the household. Mani ben has embraced Gandhisam, and Gandhiji would come to their house whenever he visited Agra.

 In 1930`s they set up a medical shop in  the sabji mandi, which still exists in the name of National medical. Jatu kaka died when he was 97, and Haru Kaka died when he was 84. The shop is currently run by  Jatu Kakas son. Any time you are in Agra and want to get a tour of  our ancestral home in Namakmandi , u can go to National chemist, and someone from the store will  take you to the house. ( you will have to use Haldwani- Agra direct connection of Manu Mahara  aka Harish in HaldwanI)

Ghanshamdas( my grandfather)

Ghanshamdas my grand father was an MA LLB from Agra and he went into judicial service and worked as a District sessions judge in various places in Uttar Pradesh( now Uttarkaand) including Kumaon, Ghadwal, Almora, Nainital. He had  4 sons. All his sons grew up in Agra and moved with him wherever he was posted. Rajan kaka the eldest son studied medicine from Lucknow and become a doctor and set up his practice in Agra and was popularly called as Doctor Kaka, Rattu kaka  was a BSC AHBTI  from Kanpur and  after his wedding he moved Kathiawad as an oil and paint technician for  some laboratory in Bhavnagar, while the family was staying in Jamnagar, Janardan Das   was a  BA LLB  from Allahabad and then went on to become an IAS in government service, retired a secretary of UP government and one of his sons Rajiv Ratna shah went on to became an IAS officer and retired recently as secretary for planning.  Brijbhushan Das  my father  studied law from Agra become a BA LLB and inherited the law practice of 7 generations in Agra.   He had a very lucrative practice in Agra, he used to fight cases for temples  like Dwarkadesh from mathura and vrindavan and other private mills and trusts. 

 
My  great grandmother & other relatives

Gopi ben  was my  great grandmother, basically Ghanshamdas mother who was alive upto the age of 99 lived in the palace along with Tribhuvandas called Raghho kaka jee.  My wife often called his wife Kunji ben as Mehelwali kaki. The entire family of Raghho Kaka was called Mehel wale.

It was called Kale Pathar kaa mahal ( Palace of Black stones) in Agra. In backyard of which, there were a number of stables for horses,  a cow shed and a gymnasium where my father used to have a  wresting exercise, the akadha as it  was known and we used  to play cricket.

 She  lived in the palace with  her youngest son Tribhuvandas  toll she died. Tibhuvandas ran a business in shoes. After the death of Gopi Dadi he sold the house to Laxminarayan book sellers and moved himself out of Namak mandi. He had 8 sons so they moved to the outskirts of Agra near Sikandra.  Now this place is called as Das kothi, where all  his sons have a plot. The area is called Das compound. The biggest mansion is of Tribhundas son who is a doctor called SK Das.

My father has many sisters, but his eldest sister Dhanlaxmi  was married to Ishwarlal Vakil in Mumbai. Ishwaralal used to work in Africa, when he was asked to leave Africa, he came to Mumbai and he got a flat in Sheetal Baugh in walkeshwar. Dhanno fais daughter, husband was  Suryakant Dani who was one of , the founders of Asian paints

From Agra to Haldwani

My father Brijbhushandas got married to Revaben from Kapadwanj. Brijbhushand Das elder son, my eldest brother Birju kaka used to study in a government school in Agra, and was trying his luck at experimenting something he had learnt at the laboratory in his school  to make explosive crackers. In his element, he tried to burst a cracker and lost the fingers of his left hand. 

Brijbhusandas got mentally worried after this incident and worried about what his son would do in his life, the accident took place in 1934, various business investments were made, like a atta mill which failed.  During this time  Rai Bahaudur Ghanshamdas, a title given to my grandfather by  the government  was practicing in his capacity as  judge of Kumaon courts .During this  time the government offered various facilities to clear the jungles and develop farms You could select around 100 acres of land, for which government would give subsidy for wire, fencing. After developing the land it would be granted to developer. So cost of getting land was equivalent to developing it. The land was tax free for 20 years and then it could become the developers property. So my father sent my brother Briju alone to Haldwani first he was around 18 years, and slowly sent things to set up a home there. Got lot of bullock carts and  bulls and slowly moved to Haldwani. 

Brijbhushandas had 5 sons & 4 daughters, Birju Kaka, jeetu, myself Satish, Shashikala, Sant, Veenu, Sanu, Krishna, Devkanya.

There were 2 pieces of land one at Bhawnipur and the other at chokhi mukhani, Bhawani pur was 7 miles away and Choti mukhani a km away from Haldwani. Both the lands were under development and suddenly  in 1936, my  father Brijbhusan Das said good bye to  the law profession and our schools ended  and were asked to  move to Haldwani . With only 5 rs to buy ticket. my brother Jeetu nd me  arrived in Haldwani where there were no facilities for school. One day the huge hut which was built on the farm with mud and thatch roofs, gave way in the monsoon. So we had to move various houses in the city till our pucca house got ready.

Just to establish  the family  we built a temple under the mango tree and the pucca house with huge pillars and big veranda that still exists as testimony of a bygone era.

Dacoits as our security guards

Security was a great concern in Haldwani, as it was then surrounded with nothing but jungles and  a lot of Dacoits used this path to move around. My father Brijbhusandas had saved some Dacoits from getting death punishment. In return this dacoits decided to serve the family. So we had 2 servants Dayaram and Hublal both big dacoits become helpers and security guards for the house. At this time  we lived in a jungle infested with leopards and tigers. For about 4 years in succession there was  always good crop of sugar cane, clean land was good but full of stones.

The journey from Haldwani  to Bombay and across the globe

I was around 15 years old when we moved to Haldwani, had not even completed 10^th. After a lot of deliberation with my father, I went back to Agra to complete my studies. I stayed in a hostel  completed my school from  a private  institute and then decided to pursue engineering from vrindavan Prem Maha vidyalaya. Did a 3 years diploma in engineering. After completing my studies I worked in a sugar factory called Kesar Sugar Mills near Haldwani as an apprentice.  

The Frontier Mail to Bombay

After 6 months of working at Kesar Sugar Mills, I took the frontier mail from Mathura and travelled to Bombay  and went to my father’s brother Balkishanda`s son`s house Ballu  who used to live in Jogeshwari. Ballu was also an oil and paint technician. He fixed me up with India united mills in Bombay as an Assistant engineer. United Mills was in chinchpokli.  In 1947 my brother Ballu had to go to USA, so I moved to Gordhan Kakas house in Bhuleshwar. Gordhan Kaka was my mother Rewa ben uncle. He had one son, called Shashi. I lived with them till I got married and moved to Bandra

While I was in Mumbai and trying to study, my  brothers and sisters decided to live the jungle life. My father had  purchased about 90acres of land in the development scheme.  So family lived on the land and some bit of crops.

Few years after I moved to Bombay, I  got married to Ashrumati,  we had a grand wedding, one of the first families to have a wedding reception. After my marriage we set up our house in a small 2 room kitchen in Nutun Nagar, facing the Bandra talao. As the family grew, 3 sons and 1 daugther, by chance we happened to come across an apartment in Bandra on an insistence of  our neighbour who was moving to that apartment. At that time we really could not dream of affording a big house like that, but  with the help of my determined wife, we some how  managed to buy our very own apartment in Bandra. After we moved to that house and I  got a job at Marshal & sons I took my first journey abroad on a ship, when I was sent by  company  to England  France and Germany.  

With APE  Bellis, I set up their office  at my home in Bandra, and spent most of my working years travelling to various parts of India.

After my retirement I along with my wife moved to  America for a decade,  to live with my sons family in Memphis. This was a different phase where I  spent time nurturing my hobbies, growing vegetables in the field, reading, driving the grand children, doing grocery shopping, and holidaying on some world class cruises  on Caribbean, Pannma canal, Mexico and  Alaska

 Some time in 2000, we decided to spend half the year in India and half in America, so we spent the summers in America and the winters in India. We had moved to Kandivali by then to a much more advanced building with lifts and amenties compared to our old building in Bandra.

 Hema our daughter moved to India on deputation for IBM. Then we began spending time between Gurgaon, Bombay & Memphis. Finally after a years gap when she moved back to Bangalore, we came to stay with her. We loved the weather in Bangalore, and  we just could not live in Bombay.

It seems like a long journey, when I had taken the frontier mail to Bombay almost 65 years ago I had never imagined what this would have in store for me. Looking back I feel content about all the experiences and things that life has given me

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The ( Proper) Bombay trail...

As a kid I remember whenever we were supposed to go to  any  place beyond  Lower parel,we would say Bombay jaana hai, for relatives and cousins who came from other cities often wondered why we spoke like this, as living in Bandra was also living in Bombay, to which the elders would explain, that its  downtown, the proper Bombay, so we just call it Bombay.

  

The downtown area of Bombay has always fascinated me, and i have loved exploring this part of Bombay on my feet.  Amongst various other interesting things that downtown offers, the old bazaars are truly worth exploring and far more exciting than the mushrooming malls within the city. There is so much to see and explore and absorb that even  on my subsequent  weekend trails to  these places in last couple of weeks, i have been  captured  something new  on every visit.

The Guide

Last Saturday, when Mom and me decided to go to CP tank,I overheard her excitedly tell her sister  we have  to go to Bombay for all the shopping.This was probably one of those rare occasions when, me and Mom actually walked through the old gallis, and lanes of CP Tank, Bhuleshwar, Nal bazzar, Bhoiwada, Jhaveri bazzar  and remembered tales of the  bygone era.  My Mom grew up in Kishore Bhuvan  CP tank so she is well aware of the route and  the perfect guide to tell me about the old buildings and stories from her childhood.

Charni  road station 

 As I walked out of Charni road station with my Mom, i remembered those days when we would get off the station and sit in a horse baggi to go to CP tank where Nani stayed. There were not  any horse carriages waiting for us, so we walked through gai wadi

Gai Wadi

 Gai wadi is basically  a short cut from the foot over bridge of charni road station to get to Prathna samaj. On this lane you will also find tons of wedding invitations card shops( khadilkar road). Mom said she used this short cut to go to Bal bhavan  a reading library.

Sikka Nagar

 As we walk through the road, My mom shows me one of the land mark buildings of the 70`s Sikka Nagar. It could be called the Beverly Hills of Charni road in that time.Sikka Nagar also houses a school called  modern inside it and Hindu Stree mandal, it was in this school that my Nani studied  upto 7^th standard. She loved to study but when her parents passed away she was removed from school in 5^th standard. After she got married she  was so determined to study that she enrolled herself and gave exams till the 7^th standard. 

Kilachand Bungalow now a mall

As we walked further mom showed me a sky scrapper and a mall, this she said used to be the Kilachand bungalow.The Kilachands were related to us, and they had a huge bungalow here, the  owners had only one daughter who was married off  in Walkeshwar and i guess she would have sold the place 

Prathna Samaj 

 As we walked further from the Kilachand bunglow towards  opera house i  was fascinated looking at the old buildings, some refurbished, some almost falling down. We made a quick stop to buy some chikkis and some lovely  sing channa, 

Natwar House

We walked back on that same road towards CP tank,  making a stop at  Natwar house.Natwar House is a building inside Mukund Mansion and right next to Chandaramji school. My Moms  Kaka, Kaki and their family lived there for a long time before  they moved to the USA. My fondest memory of Natwar house was that one time before Kaki was moving to USA, we had a sort of taash party.It was Janmasthami, so everyone went to temple for Krishna janam and then continued to play cards through the night in Natwar house.

Chandramji school

I have heard numerous tales from my Mom about her school days. She is a bit shy to go inside  her school, its currently under renovation but i insist and take her inside. She looks at it fondly and tells me about her class. This school has many memories for me, coz its in this school that my Dadi studied also, Anila Masi( Dadi`s sister)was  a principle in this school and its in this school on a fun day that my Dad picked up a pani puri bet with  Nitin Mama and ate up over 100 pani puris just to win the bet .My mom had got admission to this school coz of her merit, she studied in a municipality school till 3^rd standard, the school was going to close down, and in the same year she topped the class and that is  how she got admission to Chandaramji school, one of the most reputed in that time.The municipality school was right next to the Radha Krishna Mandir

R K wadi 

 This is the place where  one of Dadi`s brother, Vallah  mama stayed. He was her only brother who i had never really interacted with much.I had only seen him and Mami once during one of the ceremonies after Lili Ba passed away( Dadi`s mom). So one  of our  tours to Bhuleshwar, Dadi decided to visit her brother, i had heard many tales about how he and Mami would bring fanciest dresses and  birthday cakes for Bhuj, when she was very small. I  really wanted to meet him, all through the journey i remember  asking Dadi a zillion questions, Is he your favorite brother ? What does he do etc etc

I still remember that meeting, Mami had passed away, he  had a Jewish friend who was  a friend or paying guest  who was also there. Looking at the building you could not imagine that house to be so neat and well kept. He wore a Dhoti, He has a warm smile, he asked me what i  was studying, we sat for a short while and left.

CP tank 

 As we walk further we come towards CP tank the round circle,I still wonder why its called CP tank, by now my Mom has got a bit excited so she takes me in the other lane where the backside entrance of Chandaramji school exists, right opposite the Radhe Krishna mandir

Radha Krishna Mandir 

My faintest memory of this temple is accompanying Nani for  phool seva.On those rare occasions that i behaved and came with the mother to stayover, i liked to go with Nani for  the phool seva in mornings, She would visit a few temples like Kumba Tukda, Mota mandir and Radha Krishna and sit with a bunch of women and make beautiful flower garlands to offer god. The image of those soulful mornings that i experienced as a 10 year old still seem fresh in my mind.The smell of those flowers and lovely morning breeze on a summer morning

Morar baug 

As we walk out of the temple lane mom points out the parallel lane which goes towards Morar Baug, the venue from where my  parents began their journey together. As we walk through the lane of Morar baug, Moms fondly tells me that Papa`s varghooda( Baraat) came from this point.She points out the food arrangements were upstairs while ceremony and reception was below. 

Khetwadi

 From CP tank we walk towards Khetwadi towards the famous  Laad store, the only place to buy best quality attaas and groceries.I walk towards Laad store which is nothing but a tiny  shop.

Null Bazzar 

 From Khetwadi we walked towards Null Bazzar, my mom says this was the place to get all cheap groceries, it was  a bit far from where they stayed but Nani would walk the extra mile even to save a rupee. She really valued every rupee, and spent it judiciously. The summer heat starts to hit us now, we are sweating like crazy and the stuff we have purchased from Laad store adds to the weight. To add to my woos, somebody spits paan from one of building, which barely misses my hand.  We go further buy the masala and supari. My mom tells me we got to rush and reach  Mota mandir soon before the shops close for afternoon in case they do

Bhoiwada  route to Mota Mandir

 My mom is in such a hurry that i almost loose her a couple of times on the way, maybe coz i am  to fascinated looking at everything,I even get distracted by a fist fight between a bike and taxi guy trying to go from a narrow road together

Mota Mandir

  We reach mota mandir, through a flower lane and some hidden alleys, we are late for darshan unfortunately but we need to buy some things from the shops inside the temple premises. As we remove our shoes and walk we feel like we are walking on a hot pad. We complete our purchases and move towards Madhav Baugh

Madhu  Baug and Panjra Pol-  Mandhu Baug can be approached from 2 sides, we are on the other side, and through some alleys we go hunting  for some items which we are not able to find, so we cross through panjra pol and go on  the other side of Madhav Baug, where we find some stuff we are looking for. Madhu Baug is the place where Pandurang Shashtri  used to have his lectures, it was a very popular movement of one time, my mom used to attend it and Nanaji was an active member of this initiative. Unfortunately the movement has lost its momentum after his death. We are almost drained with the heat so we decide to fuel up  at Bhai Shankar or shiv sagar near CP tank. Bhai Shankar is a take away place while Shiv Sagar is a restaurant. The buttermilk at Shiv sagar comes as a great savior but just avoid the food, its  not happening

Kishore Bhuvan

 After we fuel up we walk through the lane of Kishore Bhuvan to get to Bhuleshwar. As we reach Kishore Bhuvan, i remember the old times. Dadi`s parents stayed on the 2<sup>nd</sup> floor and Moms on the 4<sup>th</sup> floor of the same building. Every visit to Kishore Bhuvan meant visiting Lili ba, then in the later years Urmilla mami and Bhagwan Mama, Dadi`s elder brother who stayed in that house  for a long time before they moved to IC  colony. For some reason, i was never fascinated by kishore Bhuvan as a kid, i rarely came to stayover at Nani`s house, when i did too i would pester my Mom with silly questions, like Momma how come Nani`s Drawing room, kitchen and bedroom is the same.  Nani really pampered us when we went to visit her. She would get crackers in Diwali and  mangoes in summer  for us. Sona masi would  go down and bring ice cream for us. But my fondest memory of Kishore Bhuvan was when Nana Nani finally agreed to move in their bigger apartment in Kandivali. We were there for 2 days to clear all the samman. I  discovered the most fascinating things and took them home ranging from a ambegaon chakki, to silver tea cups, an ancient glass chandelier from ambegaon

 Hargovindas ni wadi 

 We take the turn from Kishore bhuvan to the left, where  a plethora of shops are located. Right in the center  is a round building, my mom points it out to me and says this is the same building that Dadaji stayed when he first came to Mumbai. He stayed with his uncle  Govardahan kaka, and slept in the chawl outside. Nani too stayed there with her brother in the same building, and she fondly tells us about the tales of how all the guju girls in the building were fascinated by Dadaji`s  handsome looks.

Steel Market & Bhuleshwar 

 Right under Hargovindas ni wadi is an entire set of  Steel markets,  we do our purchases and move to the  next lane for other items. By now i am quite tired  and not able to carry the weight of all the samman so i decide to walk out through mumba devi temple and take a cab to Dongri where my friend has his office

Dongri

 Dongri is another interesting area, You suddenly feel transported to another part of the city. The air-conditioned and swanky office of my friend, along with his warm hospitality helps us rejuvenate for a another leg of our shopping trip. 

Khau Galli or Naasta Lane

As we begin the trail at Jhaveri bazzar its almost evening and we feel a bit hungry so we decide to fuel up at Khau galli, a lane which was full of food hawkers, we get confused as we cant see those food stalls on the road. After those bomblasts the food hawkers are apparently not allowed there.Some who can afford have taken tiny shops.We start of with some yummy Khichiya masala, its like a sev puri on Khichiya papad, and then we move on to Mohanlal  Pudlawala, where we dunk in a pani puri and dahi puri along with famous Pudla

Jhaveri bazzar 

 Now we start looking for another set of item in the silver category. After a lot of exploring we find a shop where we find what we want, and by the time we come out  it has become dark. 

Mangaldas Market 

 By now we are quite a tired, we barely look at stuff and just directly to go to a hand loom store outside the market, then we move further to Crawford market.  We try to hail a cab to  the station with no success, only to get into a bus which  goes through Lamington road and drops on the bridge of Grant road station.

Grant road station

  As we get down at Grant road station, we remember the   days, when my Masi stayed  at Enterprise, i made my first maiden trip by train from Bandra to Grant road. We came here quite often and then go out and visit the different places in  the so called Bombay from Beach candy to Chowpatty, Kemps Corner and more

The Grand Ager( The older version of a Teenager)

Watching Television in the middle of the night, secretly savouring a candy or ice-cream, ordering Domino’s pizza at a drop of a hat, fighting over the control of the remote control or computer, this traits sound similar to that of any teenager isn’t it well all of these are some of the traits of the Grandager-My grandparents. I can say so with complete authority, as I am one of the very fortunate grandchildren to have both my paternal and maternal grandparents alive. They are all in their late 80`s close to making a century and its fascinating to see their changing behaviour from time to time. Here is a glimpse of their colourful life’s.

Dadaji

My Dadaji( father’s father) is one of the most handsome grandfathers one can ever have. Right from the time I was in school, my school teachers, to friends and  even older ladies in the building drooled over him. Over the years he has learned to take all that attention quite naturally with his sweet smile and unique sense of humour. Dada is some one who loves food, sweets are his biggest weakness and he proclaims to hate chillies, but secretly relishes them when no one is watching.

Watching Dada and Dadi fight is nothing less than a television soap opera, Their fights and arguments range, from Grandpa  drooping food on his shirt, not having the shirt collar straight or finishing the fruit or sweets,  Dadi had kept aside for Bhuji.

The  Mahabharat happens when Dada does not allow Dadi to watch  her favourite  Gujrati serial or Dadi on a rare occasion captures the computer to play some games. Its amazing as Bhuji has now even got a separate television for Dadi.

After we got married every time we went to meet the Grandparents, Dadaji insisted we order Domino’s pizza, as he loved to have pizza, basically like a kid Dada always liked us to order all the stuff which is forbidden to him. I enjoyed doing this, because as  a kid Dadaji would secretly buy me a chocolate every day although it was not something appreciated by others at home. Thanks to Bhuji, Dadaji moved on the technology platform many years back. Although he has had a bit of a  set back after his hand injury, but he enjoys skyping and playing games on facebook. Dada also spends time watching movies, cricket, doing yoga every morning with a special instructor. When we  go to visit them in Bangalore he likes to dress up in his lovely red shirt similar to Prashant`s  and go out for a stroll. Even when we go out, Dadaji gets so many compliments,” He is so cute’ the words are so common.

 Dadi

My Dadi( father`s mother) is one of coolest grand mothers one can ever have. She  doesn’t believe in the conventional Indian philosophy that girls should spend the rest of their lives making rotis, and  producing children once they are married. She believes in the philosophy of live and let live. Even when I was growing up and was in college she never bothered to ask why you coming late, what are you doing etc.  Dadi`s house was a no questions asked house, you could go and come anytime you want. Dadi secret love is ICECREAM. You can give her ice-cream anytime of the day and she will have it.  She is very particular about what she likes and what she does not. One time they had a yoga teacher,  for some reason she did not like her so she decided she would not learn from her. If she doesn’t like the tea  the maid has made, the poor lady is in trouble, not only would she have to rectify it but also hear about it for a few days.

On celebrations outside, sometimes she can surprise you by asking for some champagne or a spiked drink.  She is quite fond cappuccino, and would  not mind having a cuppa any time. She enjoys visiting  fancy restaurants which Bhuji has made into a annual weekend activity and if the Dhokla or roti in the buffet spread is not made properly she will call the  chef and  tell his which ingredient he/ she should add to make it perfect.

She spends most of her time watching Gujrati television soaps & cooking shows, Knitting for her loved ones, getting the kitchen in order( driving the maid), shopping for vegetables on Sunday( apart from ordering the  driver& house help to bring some vegetable or fruit everyday) keeping a track of the hissab, playing games on the computer, doing yoga  and rejuvenating at the spa every forthnight.It all sounds good, but it must be really hard for her  physically to manage with her weak feet and her fragile health.

She too has had a fascinating journey of her life, growing up in a traditional wealthy family, marrying a young man from the northern part of the country, building a life together with Dada from scratch(no money, no house), amalgamating the northern flavour & western culture that my Grandpa brought in with his travels from abroad and his multinational job with Marshals & Ape Bellis. Putting her heart and soul in bringing up the grand children in India and the USA.  

Nana Nani

My Nana Nani( Mother`s parents) on the other hand have choosen the spiritual route in their lives. They spend most of the time attending or hosting classes at home on religion and philosophy. But there life style timings is no less then a teenager. They  wake up around 7:30- 8:00am, than they  watch tv, around 10am or so they have a snack and coffee, take a bath around 12noon, nani cooks, while Nana does the pooja, then they have lunch around 3pm. They sleep upto 5pm and longer on days when they don’t have a class. They have dinner watch television, chat with people on the phone and  then pray for one hour. They don’t sleep before 12:30am or 1 each day. They too have their battles, but they are on other things like  Nana taking too much time to get ready, too much waiting for lunch, paying the carpenter more money, going to someone house, the menu for the tea party etc

As my Grandma( Dadi) oftens put`s it let us do what we want, this is our second childhood. After all they have gone through many ups and downs in their life, this is their chance to enjoy, and each one of us who have grandparents should go out of our way and making it memorable for them and help them live the life of a GrandagerJ. 

These Grandagers are not too demanding, they don’t want anything but just our warm love and affection. After all a lot of  beautiful memories of our childhood are painted with their love.

Birthday Rewind- Replay the grand times

Every year when I get close to my birthday,the most common thing that flashes in front of my mind are those wonderful memories of the birthdays gone by, so i thought it would be nice to rewind and recollect those beautiful memories.
In the Shah household in Anand Vihar, the Birthday was considered a really big event,I don’t know if it had anything to do with the fact that my father and his siblings never really had the opportunity to have grand birthday celebrations so they wanted to fulfill it by celebrating my birthday or whether it was to do with my aunt( Bhuji) who herself was quite an enthusiastic soul.  

The Actual Birthday

By far this still remains my favourite birthday story, and this has been so well narrated to me by my Dad, that even today, when he is not with me, his words echo in my ear. It was a dark winter night 21 Jan 1982 to be precise,Pa was already tired and frustrated with the fact that I wasn’t coming out, He had made Ma walk for more than an hour in the balcony of the Purandare hospital(where i was to be born) facing the Queens Necklace,without any success. Having given up on getting any result that day, Pa decided to take my Masi and Masa out for a snack. They walked out of the hospital got my Masi to have strawberry milkshake at Bachelors, this is the first time she ever tasted strawberries, and she loves them now, and thanks my Dad for introducing her to strawberry milkshake. Masa and Masi leave, Pa then walks down to the Ideal Corner restaurant, grabs a beer and then decides to unwind by getting his favourite Malish on the chowpatty beach. As the masseur massaged his tired legs and head he starred at the stars and wondered in amazement how his first child would be.He wished it would be a girl,a girl who he could design exquisite dresses for, a girl who he could weave all his dreams into.Pa had always wanted his first child to be a daughter for some reason. At the end of that relaxing malish session,it was almost quarter past midnight and Pa thought it was a good idea to just drop by at the hospital before he went home just incase there was some development. Indeed Ma, had got her labour pains, and Pa was standing right next to her, the reluctant fool, I was I just wasn’t willing to come out, finally I did and when the doctor announced it was a girl, Pa just could not help but jump up in excitement,while my Nani (Mom`s Mother) who still subscribed to the old school thought in the 80`s, was quite grim with the addition of another granddaughter in her family. This episode ensured the famous Malishwalas had earned themselves a role in my birth story, but Pa, who himself was connoisseur of Champi Malish,ensured that I was introduced to the craft, as he would always Malish my head with oil.When I was kid I hated it, coz I hated putting oil in my hair, but when I was in college I liked it, it seemed so nice as it calmed my tired nerves, and then when I longed for it, my Malishwala, Pa was not there anymore and the magic of his champi fingers will remain only as beautiful memory in time

Pudding`s Birthday 

My first birthday cake said 'Happy Birthday Pudding'(Pudding was my pet name) I was literally arranged like a pudding in our fruit basket so that i could be seated to cut the cake and as all my cousins, uncle aunts, and family friends gathered at Anand Vihar A wing terrace to witness that grand moment of cutting my first birthday cake, i had a rather grim expression, as seen in the photographs. I am told it was quite a grand celebration, while my uncle and aunts spent the morning and afternoon blowing balloons and decorating the terrace,our favourite cycle idli wala treated all those lovely idlis and mendu vadas, which wel all savoured on Sunday`s at Anand Vihar Also the family tradition continued as Vimu Dadi and Dadi made my first birthday dress a lovely white frock. I am told they stitched a frock even for Bhuji`s birthday

The Kiddie Birthday parties (Age 1 to 8)                            

There had always been a lot of fuss about my birthday, days before my birthday, Dadi would start looking through design books and begin stitching a new dress for me for my birthday. Menus would be discussed days in advance, ideas for return gifts get shortlisted and sometime papa would decide to bake a cake. From a lovely chocolate bridge to a house, to a shoe house all have made it to one or other of my birthday parties, all baked and designed by Pa. I still remember making him a baker hat with a greeting card and singing the famous rhyme Pat a cake as he would be busy making the cake i would trouble him a zillion times by asking” Papa when will the cake be baked, when can i eat it’’ and he would silently reply Beta patience rakho, cake takes time to bake. Apart from the highlight being the cake, another thing i did as a kid is when we would organise a birthday at Siddharth hotel, i would nicely go round and invite everyone and anyone who i even faintly knew in the building so that i would get more birthday presents. Opening and counting birthday presents was one of my favourite things. I still remember my 8th birthday, coz Mom was not there, and Papa gifted me my first Barbie doll( I had numerous other dolls, but only one Barbie doll in my lifetime). Having a Barbie doll was a big thing in those times.

The Exclusive birthday parties 

 As i grew older, my birthday parties graduated from being snack parties to lunch and dinner parties, as my dotting parents went out of their way to layout the most scrumptious lunch and dinner for my friends. Starting from the most popular party menu`s of the household of samosas, biryani and chole puri, to ragda pattice, Shahi paneer etc. One time Pa and Ma cooked up an exclusive Chinese menu with Sweet corn soup, American chopsuey, fried rice and Manchurian. The exclusive item on the menu was steamed wantons and momos which was quite exotic for our time, as popular Chinese restaurants in India had still not introduced this item on their menu Ofcourse the most memorable one is the last birthday I spent with Papa. We had moved to Kandivali, i was in my second year of degree college, for some reason after so many years he decided to bake my birthday cake and put up a lovely chat party for my friends. I have not eaten a better cake then that in so many years, because it was made with Pa`s secret ingredient his passion and love to feed people.

The Birthdays after 2001        

 Some how after Pa left us I never was too excited about celebrating my birthday, although i must salute my Mom`s enthusiasm to keep the celebration part alive, as less then a month after pa passed away was my birthday and she cooked up my favourite meal of mutter paneer and Biryani. That was an emotional birthday, coz as i came home from college and silently ate that meal, i could not believe my Mom had decided to keep behind her sorrow and ensure that i didn’t miss my father` s absence on my birthday. I had unconsciously started following Pa`s philosophy that a birthday was not a celebration, as you were loosing one year of your life. But as the years passed by, mom and my dear friends ensured that i brush of this morose philosophy of mine and have a gala time. There was this one time when Mom was in USA, that 4 of my best friends just hijacked my house while i was at work with a key from my building friend and cooked up a party meal and invited 25 of my friends for a surprise party on my terrace. That was one of the most sweetest and memorable birthdays of my time. Then there were the other birthdays where i invited a whole lot of people home and treated them to Mom`s lovely khanna.

My first birthday party after marriage was also interesting a surprise birthday party put up by my inlaws at a banquet hall. From then on we always celebrated my birthday at exotic restaurants and my husband ensured we carry back some cutlery from the restaurant as a memory each year. However one of the most romantic celebrations, which actually looked like a scene from a Yash chopra movie, which honestly even i couldn’t believe was this one time, where the husband spent hours arranging and lighting the candles to say happy birthday ( we spent countless days trying to get the candle wax out of the floor) and gave me heart shaped orchid bouquet. All in all it feels good to look back birthday lane as i have been blessed with a wonderful family and lovely friends who have ensured i have a blast.

Thank you, every one who have been a part of this wonderful celebration for me at some point of time or other and helped me create wonderful memories for a life time