The Quest for a Bride...

902 days…17520 hours...a gamut of emotions...
A hole of 1.5 lakh rupees in the pocket, using trains, bullock carts, buses to travel over 115000 km across the country, Meeting over 1000 people and 180 prospective brides to be. Lots of drama, action, and complete entertainment.

This is not a preview to, a new reality show on television, but this is a real story of a acquaintance from work. He hails from an educated gujrati family, who has settled in Bombay for many years, thus their connection with their caste members who stay in Gujarat is limited due to the distance. He had just began to work, and his parents thought it was a good time for him to settle down, he too readily agreed, and decided to actively participate in the pursuit of a good wife. So, every Friday night after work, he would take the train to Ahmedabad, get off in the morning and freshen up at his aunt’s house and then spend the day visiting various homes where the prospective brides and their family would meet him.

On an average every weekend he would meet at least about 4-5 girls and then take the train back to Mumbai on Sunday Night.This practice continued for more than a year, but something never seemed to have worked, either the parents were to afraid to send their daughters to Mumbai or they were just passing time,or the girl was not educated enough to lead a normal life in Bombay.

Frustration meter was going up, and suddenly his caste members decided to copy the successful formula of the Samuha Milan This is a very interesting concept, I was just baffled when I heard about it.

Samuha Milan is basically something where 80 girls( number can vary) and their families along with 80 boys and their families come together at this event. Each of the girls and boys are registered in the book along with their profiles and there is a unique number assigned to each of them.
The program begins with a talkative host, who gives an intro on the event and then the session begins.There is a little stage constructed, and the boy candidates and their families sit on one side, and the girl candidates and their families sit on the other side. It begins with candidate 1 going on stage and introducing himself

“Maru Name --- che, ooh Amdavad thi chu, ooh mechanical engineer chu, ane mara ----- shoak che ---, ohu ishu chu ke mari bahiri ek house wife hoi”
(My name, is -----, am from amdavad, and am a mechanical engineer, my interests are --- and I would like my wife to be a house wife)
Host will ask more questions, like which sub caste you are from and what your parents do etc
After his intro the boy gets off the stage, and the host tells the crowd, those interested in candidate A, can tick in the book provided and can meet him after the introduction. As soon as the candidate steps down from the stage, sometime eager parents would go and even approach them immediately.
In a similar fashion girl candidates arrive on the stage, and give their introduction and list down their expectations, for e.g. they want an Engineer husband etc

After this ramp walk is over, the parents of the potential brides and grooms aggressively set out to meet the candidates they have listed out. To me its sounds so awkward

The father of a potential bride goes to potential groom and says
"Amne tamara sathe vaat karvama interest che, amari chokri tya bethi che, so tamne yogya lage to agal vaat kariye, ane profile page ---- per che"
(We are interested in you, my daughter is sitting over there, pointing at the daughter, you can look at her profile on page- and if you are interested we can talk further)

Anyways our friend attended over 5- 6 Samuh milans, but nothing seemed to have materialized. It was almost more than 2.5 years now, and he was frustrated considering the dedication and hard work he had showcased in finding a bride. Finally what seemed like the last trip for him to Ahmedabad, he meet his wife, who was dressed in the most homely attire, to provoke the candidate to reject her, however the tables turned when they meet, and destiny brought them together.

To conclude,he said that the journey was although frustrating but, looking back it was indeed a learning experience for him, coz he got to meet different kind of people, learn about different kinds of human behaviour, and also got to visit places and people in the distant villages of his community, which he otherwise would never have got a chance.

The Wedding Weavers

A ground in Shivaji Park is getting ready to weave another Wedding, just like a studio getting ready for another shoot. A zillion men and women would have weaved their lives with each other in matrimony on this very soil.The atmosphere at the ground is calm, devoid of the burden of anchoring the zillion marriages it has witnessed so far.

Its about 1am in the morning, but it seems like a normal working day, for the workers at the ground. Some of them are busy unloading the carpets from the little tempo (referred as baccha) in their terminology, others are trying to sort the bamboos and tie them up in the prescribed manner basis the design which their absent minded supervisor seems to have told them. The supervisor Ismail is new, and is particularly known for giving filmsy excuses.

The owner of the decorator company,arrives to take a stock of things, and to ensure that the work on the site is executed in the right manner,he immediately notices the missing pillar at the gate which was part of the design and remarks

“Ismail, Gate pe pillar nahi lagaya, design maih tha na”
Absent minded Ismail, tries his antics with the boss
“Pillar to laga hai na, dekho na sahab”
The Seth is quite patient and calmly asks Ismail, how come he cant see the missing pillar,trying to fumble again for excuses, he says he didn’t see the design or forgot, in no mood to argue, the Seth tell him to refer the design and ensure the pillar is constructed.
“Chandni aagayi kya”, the Seth remarks.Relax Chandni is not the Chandni from the Chandni bar, instead Chandni is what is referred to the colourful or design cloth which is used around the tent.

Kailash is a worker from UP, he is busy setting up the frame of pipe for the tent. He lives in one of the slums in Lalbaugh. He has been suffering from Hernia, but refuses to get himself operated, as he thinks getting him self operated will harm him. Probably unaware or simply ignorant of the danger he is living in by breeding a disease in his body,he continues to work relentlessly to feed his family.It is people like Kailash, who make me realize, that lack of health awareness is such a big problem in our country.Thousands of people in our country die because they are unaware of the disease they are suffering with or they hold some pre-conceived notions related to surgery.The cities today are full of people like Kailash who leave their villages and families behind to earn as little as Rs 125 a day and an inch of place in some crowded slum for shelter. But since the wedding business is a seasonal affair, a lot of these labourers go back to the villages during the monsoon for farming, to get whatever they can make from their land. Sometimes I really wonder what will happen to our cities, with so many laborers, I guess it is time to urbanise the villages.

Its only a couple of hours for the morning, the section for the wedding ceremony is almost ready,the chandni (cloth) is put up around the vidhi section.The hustle-bustle at the site also increases, as more bachas (small tempos), tempos and more workers arrive with furniture and godhris (carpets) after winding up another reception site, the previous night. The bride and groom who would be tying the knot the next morning, would probably be taking their last nap as bachelors, unaware of those dozen hands who would have worked meticulously the entire night towards making it a picture perfect wedding for them.